Triggers

I have an exhibition of my artwork coming up from August 15th to the 21st at the Show Gallery at Queen Street West and Ossington in Toronto. I've been wanting this all my life but I find the negative chatter in my head is getting louder and I'm scared to death because of the fact that I won't be able to attend. I'm bedbound and cannot walk. I have some postcards that I'm giving Lev to pass out for me. The girls will go and see the exhibition and tell me how it looks but I wish I could be there. It's difficult to be chronically ill because I'm so shut off from society. I'm afraid she'll violate me again and I can barely cope. I seem calm but I'm not. Inside me is churning with fear and dread, and I'm afraid I'll have another breakdown. Mom doesn't know how bad it is for me. I'm suicidal and I'm not sure what I'll do. I don't want this anymore. 





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