No One Cares

Tracy Verdugo sent me
A note about
A question she asked in an email
About what would I say to
My younger self
And I replied that I would tell
Myself to commit suicide
Because it wasn't worth it
That no one gave a shit anyways
And she wrote back
For me to reach out
For help
But I keep doing that
And nothing works
So I'm caught in
A vicious cycle
Of always reaching out
And nothing helps me
Now I've got stuff lined up next week
That probably won't work either
I'm tired of going round and round
Mom saying she doesn't want to 
Hear that John forced me to perform
Yet she listens to Curty talk about "the bush"
Can't even have compassion for her daughter
I was so badly abused
People don't want to hear what I live with every day
What I go through and endure
The shit I'm made to swallow
Yes, I had to perform oral sex
Yes, he handcuffed me to the bed
Yes, he cut pieces of my vaginal lips away
And threw them in the garbage
Like I'm raw chicken
And yes, it hurt
My pain is so great 
That I can't cope anymore
No one understands
No one cares
Not now, not ever

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