John

It's like something I just want to 
Break it off
You treated me like shit
A fat, twisted cripple with a nine
Year old mentality
Your friends were now
My friends
I had to end it
I couldn't take it anymore
You would sexually torture me
Night after night
I was so desperate
For a man's love
Someone who thought I was
Beautiful
You'd cut pieces of me away
And flush them down 
The toilet
What must the people
Working with sewage think
Then you'd Ààwant sex
And I had pain
So much pain
You can't imagine
When I was in my teenage years
I was terrified of people
Because they always had
A hidden agenda
Unless they're exceptionally good
I've met few like that. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ABRACADABRA

Image
I created this for a year-long course I'm taking called ABRACADABRA. It deals with making spiritual art that gives the message of hope and manifestation for the artist and viewer, alike. The instructor, Shiloh Sophia, told us to "paint our pain." She then asked us to give it all our attention, then push past it so that we are not "coming from a place of pain" any longer, and paint that newfound freedom.  I used greens that I disliked, and made them front and center. Afterwards I painted aqua "channels" and yellow "details." Aquamarine is my birthstone. And, I used to really dislike yellow, but now I painted it as the Sun, lighting up the sky and everything in our galaxy! I found joy in the small things that I may have overlooked at one point. I revelled in the fact that my past is gone. And yes, it made me what I am, but it holds no power over me now. I have many gifts, and I'm blessed with a loving family, being an artist,  and a writer ...
Read more

Exercises For Life

Image
I started exercising in August of 2022. I began by finding a video of Leaya Cohen doing Tai Chi, and she said that it doesn't matter which exercise you do. It matters that you make it a habit, and after 100 days, you reap the benefits. So I started my journey.  I did my version of the arm movements, and it tired me out. An hour later, I did some more. I was beginning my eye opening view of my own limitations, but I kept at it. I had some down days, but I made a conscious decision to live. If I kept on the way I was going, I would have died. I wanted so much to thrive. I didn't want to merely exist anymore.  I maintained doing everything I could to help myself. I changed my diet and became a vegetarian. I started drinking plenty of water. I exercise all day long now. I also get plenty of sleep and relax when I'm tired.  For breakfast I eat fruit and steel cut oats. For lunch I'll have an avocado and fish on  whole grain bread. I'll have a good dinner with lots of veg...
Read more

Off Topic Publishing "Jim"

Off Topic Publishing, " Jim " was published in July of 2023. I have been ill, and also I'm learning the rules of publishing and want to credit them. They were very gracious to me and I appreciated the fact that they wanted to publish me, even though I was an unknown author. I received an Honourable Mention from them and won that in the Summer Contest. I had submitted the piece to them a few weeks before and thought nothing of it. I had been previously published in an anthology entitled "Quae Nocent, Docent", a book of poetry put out by the Friendly Handshake Press. I was mailed a copy of the anthology from a long time member. At first, I was going to decline Off Topic Publishing, but when I thought about it, I decided to go along with the publishing of my piece. It really encapsulates my feelings around my brother's death and my silent longing for him. We were so close that I have really realized how much I depended on him to boost me up. My life is much mor...
Read more