Serious Illness

https://www.brainlesionandme.com/becoming-lost-during-a-flare-revisiting-acceptance/?utm_content=buffera73ce&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer&s=09

I found this beautifully written website talking about living with serious illness. This lady writes so eloquently and yet directly about what it's like to live with serious illnesses. I myself live with many serious health problems among wich is diabetes, Menieres Disease (whch is not serious, but led me to become ill because I could no longer walk because of constant dizziness, so I fell) hypoventilation syndrome (I cannot take deep breaths), and anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, a blood clot in my left leg of which I must receive fragmen injections for the rest of my life, and other non serious health problems such as chronic fatigue syndrome, an acute case of osteoarthritis, my right arm is severely damaged by an injury sustained when I was in Michael Garron Hospital, fibromyalgia, and I broke my femur in two places 2 years ago and now I can't walk or sit up. I just lie here and do everything while lying down. I eat, draw with my left hand, drink water, talk on the phone, and use my laptop while lying down. I'm fairly comfortable except for a lot of pain, and it's constantly bugging me. I don't have a day with no pain, and it gets really bad, especially when I'm getting the poop cleaned out of my vagina. My Jamaican PSWs try to be gentle, but unfortunately they both cause me a lot more pain. Curty is the poop cleaner and Kenli cleans my body. I love them both because if I did not have their care I would be dead. The other PSWs I've had were awful, most of the time leaving the poop inside my vagina, and I could have died from infection, but they didn't care--they only wanted the money. Curty and Kenli care for me, and for that I am grateful to them. And I'm also grateful to my Mom and to God because I have come close to death many times, sometimes wondering why I've been saved. I have so many years I wonder why I'm still here, why I continue to suffer the debilitating pain and depression. I have no answer for that. I can only hope that my life has not suffered in vain. That someday I will be a great artist and I will continue to help those less fortunate than me. I have my brother Jim is thank, for he is my Guardian Angel, he with the Will of God will enable my to leap to my highest of highs, while I'm reaching my lowest of lows. I can only love those around me and take each day as it comes, with hope and no shame.

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