My Sorrow

My Sorrow is something big and all encompassing. It comes from being sexually abused as a child, teenager and an adult. I recently came out of Scarborough General Hospital where I was sexually abused and assaulted by a female Registered Nurse. When I told her what she was doing to me she had no emotion, no compassion for me. She said, "Oh, what am I doing?" when I asked her if she knew what she was doing to me. I told her that she was sexually assaulting me and she said nothing. No response. No empathy. Just dead.

How can something so evil and treacherous work in an ICU? Work with sick people who are here because they are ill. I wasn't there for a vacation. I had pneumonia, which I was not aware of. I was on a ventilator for two weeks. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't able to talk. I thought that they were putting me away and I'd never go home again because I heard some Doctors talking about me outside my room. I heard them say quite clearly "Well, what can be done with a 56 year old woman with so many health problems?" and I believed I'd never see Mom again. I even told the nurse I had that I didn't want to live like this because I was so scared. But luckily it was just words. I'm home and I'll always be home. Right next to my loving Mom. Right where I belong.

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