Draw And Paint

It began when I was 5 years old. It has progressed 51 years now, but alas last year when I was in Michael Garron Hospital they had to insert a needle into my right wrist where the artery is to save my life. When they took the needle out my arm bled and bled for 9 months. Around my birthday which is March 14th of this year it finally stopped bleeding and the wounds the 3-in deep wounds on top and underneath finally healed. Unfortunately, I am not able to draw or paint with it anymore. It has been devastating for me because art literature and music we're the only things that got me through a very difficult life. I want to give everyone I love this Christmas a painting but I do not know if I will be able to do it. Right now I'm trying to save up the money to buy paint and small canvases but I am broke most of the time, not being able to afford anything. I'm also trying to find, or rather my mom is trying to find my $1,000 copy of Photoshop which I purchased about 18 years ago now. My PSWs promise to buy me a laptop which is something that I cannot afford sometime in mid October and give it to me then. I know I don't deserve it but it will open up a huge void in my life right now. I need to be more creative because what I'm doing everyday is not enough, my soul and my mood is very low because I cannot be more creative. I need to express myself and in doing so I hope I can heal and have more compassion for myself. Of that I have been trying to grasp my whole lifelong. I hope that God willing I can still receive such a wondrous gift, and then do more than I'm doing now. I can only hope...

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